Half an year passed

Yes, half an year passed.

Hard to believe I have worked for half an year. Time passes pretty fast and even faster than my imagination.

I swithed my job with half an year was another surprise for me.

After working, there are only little time to think about the dreams and old friends, only when they come up to me, and then I satrted to figure out how muhc they have changed. It’s definitely not a good thing. But my surrounding and life changed too fast to halt me down and look around. ’till now, I’m constantly doubt about my current situation and what I do every single day seems like a unrealistic dream. I got a job which “a-thousand-girl-would-dream-for” but the story never ends at the beginning fantasy, especially when it’s not in a movie.

I often think about “the devil wears Prada” when i do my daily works. Would I be the girl who hold onto her soul or another Emily who sold herself to a game that goes too far for her.

I cannot raise my altitude so high so fast, though you told me “Yes,  I can.” I am afraid and terrified most of the time. It feels like floating on salt water, I would never got drowned but neither be saved. I struggle with imperfection and unsatisfication everyday and gave up at a uncertain late moment in the night. Pack and go home. It comes over and over everyday. I tried to make things look better but mistake seems to be unavoidable.

I keep myself as positive as I can, but just couldn’t stop myself from suspecting. It’s okay for me. But my dear friends, besure to take care yourself and be strong until next time when I’m available to have a cup of coffee with you.

78 days after leaving NCKU

write down to remember “78″

To Kayley: Sorry! I cannot make it to England on Christmas! I’ll tell ya my new address after settling down! See you on May then!!

I…

I…

I…

I got…

I got a job!!!!!

OMG! This is so amazing for me!!! I woke up in the morning today and “just” as I was considering whether should I sleep a little bit longer, my cell phone vibrated…Gosh! How can it vibrate so scary that I answered the phone with a scary but sleepy voice.

“Hello!”, I said.

“Hello, Ms. Wu. This is Victor. ” the man said.

Gosh! No way! During these two months of job seeking, I’d realized that bad news comes by email but good news comes from phone, like: rejection letter (or say, thank you letter) comes from email but interview notification comes from phone calls.

I was kinda scared but pulled myself back right away.

“Yes, this is. What’s going on?”, I replied.

“I’m here to tell you that our vice president…”, he said then.

Oh! Vice president? Oh! The guy I interviewed with, I hope he has some positive impression on my performance…Oh! Say something good please!!! My heart beat was soooo fast…I know it’s unhealthy to heart-beating so fast in early morning, but I just CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF!

“he was impressed by your interview and your mkting ideas…that means…”, he had a brief stop here.

“Yes.”, I whispered and looked forward to know the answer.

“You’re enrolled!!!”, he finally spoke out.

I cannot recall how I replied and how I hanged up the phone. What was the last line I said? How did I express to him my gratitude? I cannot recall any but only remembered he told me to visit some stores and athletics shops to know more about the products and channel.  Rest of the conversation?? No, none.

I could hardly believe that this is a truth. It felt like I’ve waited for a century long for this moment since I started a long sequence of job-seeking process. It felt like three hundred resumes finally paid off and it worths it to get a job like this as a happy ending. I need not turn on my notebook in the morning, logging into 104 HR Bank and humbly prayed that there would be someone who see into my potential anymore. As time went by, I could not stop myself from doubting whether I actually had potential, especially with 8 interviews conducted and failed…It felt like forever when I stayed at home, living like a retired woman. It was really hard to cheer myself up when there’s no destinations in my life. I started to figure out some other possibilities in my life after a too-long desperation. I thought about going abroad to have a master degree in order to escape from economic depression period and I asked some cases to do at home, utilizing my day time. But on the other side, I didn’t actually gave up job-seeking. I just tried…even harder by experiences accumulated these two months. I knew I can do it and I will finally get one. I don’t know where the confidence from but I did believe. And Thanks To God! It did happen right in the morning.

I’m ready now thanks to the harsh two months I passed. Thank you, VICTOR! Thank you, my dear friends who encouraged me and stood by my side when others looked me down! I’ll prove with the best of my ability that YOU’RE RIGHT!!!

Just Damn It!

I cannot tell the rightness or wrongness by your critical words. We are all critical most at the time. I cannot tell what if what you told was true and my insistence was as silly as you could have imagined two days ago. I can tell the embarassment. The most frustrating thing is that I have to spend $3,000 to tell whether you’re right or just again some silly prejudice. It’s a damn thing to discuss with you about this. And it’s also awful for me to be influenced. Damn it! Damn it! And give me more trash maybe I can build a stinky castle.

A corner like this

I suddenly come up with a thought 5 minutes ago when i logged in this site and the other blog of mine as usual. I realize that people, living in this great world, suffer and struggle whole life to seek for a corner belong to him/her; it’s the same situation here. Since changing 5 blogs before this site started up, i’ve spent much time to seek for a corner in this big, huge internet for “a corner like this” with my pictures, my headbar, my thinking and my too-much-to-bear pressure. I’m quiet satisfied with this site and i can talk about many stuff i cannot say in another blog which has too many friends visit. People seek for privacy, freedom and selfishness not only in their house but also on the net. It’s a world too crowded but i am lucky to have a site like this. I have not yet got a real life corner solely for myself but at least i get one here. I’m struggling for one in real life.